Making choices that change outcomes


Awareness is key to perception and the reality created. Knowing why you are thinking and feeling what you are, and what to do about that, are keys to making choices that can change the outcomes. 

When we are constantly bombarded with messages, we come to see the messages as the norm and we normalise what we are constantly exposed to - eg. images of what is perceived to be beautiful, fun or living well - consider here social media portrayals. Another example is bad behaviour - constant exposure to the same behaviour normalises it. If it’s emotional abuse we desensitise to it. If you are told enough times that you are …………. then you begin to believe you are …………. (and may even become more ………….)! This doesn’t mean what you are being told is right or true, it just means that you become accustomed to it. Originally you may question it and wonder if they know more than you do, or you know more than them, but sooner or later - (like water constantly running over a rock) - it will wear you down and become your new normal. You will change.

Whatever you are told, or have been told, or are being told, about yourself and the way you should be/ could be/ or are (through someone else’s eyes), it is your call on whether you allow your perception to be influenced by their reality or not.  Yes, you really do have a choice. Choice is just that though - you can choose to accept it or not. Sounds simple, but not always easy…. And, no judgment is intended here either. If you are like me, you’ll know when something stops working for you, and when you care enough to make a change, then you will.

So, if you feel undervalued, unseen, unheard, unsupported, used or something else that’s similar, and you feel less than honoured, respected and loved, (3 things you totally deserve by the way) by the behaviours/comments of others, then making changes has to come from you. The way you see the world is the way the world will be for you. I’m not saying bad things don’t happen and I’m not saying that you are the problem, what I am saying is that you are the answer.

Awareness is key. Being able to differentiate what is really going on from fantasy, mythology or drama, or getting out of someone else’s way, or from placing yourself in the role of victim (ie. why does this always happen to me? …) or something else… begins with awareness.

How do you become aware then?

I recommend you start by practicing thinking and feeling for yourself and see what happens and what changes for you. And… if as you seek your own answers you draw the blank card of “I don’t know”, then ask yourself again and again and again and again and again until you do know - because you do. The answers always lie within - often buried deep and under some other things - but always there for unveiling if you look and listen to go to your heart.

Then what????

Using my 5 step process to Authentic Self-being and Happiness do the following;

  1. Imagine you are an observational scientist, ask yourself to observe what is actually happening - non-judgmentally and from a bird’s eye viewpoint. Is there truth in what you see or experience or in what is being said or is happening? (Awareness)

  2. Is your behaviour encouraging these comments/behaviours? Is this really your stuff or the projection of their stuff onto you? (Knowledge)

  3. What would you like the outcome to look like? What are you prepared to/not to change in yourself for this to happen? (Choice/Action)

  4. Place your left hand on your heart and the right one on top of it and find a moment to follow your breath in and out, and as you do connect in with your higher self and your heart space. Go to your centre, your place of authenticity - go to your ‘home’ within. Then gently nurture your self into a loving bubble for allowing this situation to bother you and invite in forgiveness for acknowledging and recognising that you are the one left ‘holding the baggage’ so to speak. (Acceptance)

  5. Through compassion and acceptance, cross the bridge to self-love. Love yourself and let go of what has been bothering you. (Love)

Learning to love yourself and live your best life as your best self comes from within. Trying to change the outside is where struggle lies. So many of us believe that others are the problem or the reason for what happens in our lives. In truth the answer lies within us. Waiting for others to validate our being-ness, can set us up for a thirsty life - ie. a long time between drinks!

Why put your self-being into the hands of someone else?

We are each on our own soul journey. Whilst we are part of something much bigger than one, and we are all connected, in other ways we are only one. I believe we each have our own soul purpose and the way to fulfill this is to know who we are, to come home to ourselves and authentically become the best version of ourselves.

Tapping into your inner well of divinity, your heart home, illuminates your unique divine Universal sparkle. (That sounds tweetable or grammable!!!)

The Universe needs you to step up and into loving, to come home to yourself and to become your best authentic self. Get to know who you authentically are and then be it with all your heart.

Have a wonderful day and please find a moment to sit and breathe into your heart with love, and do something that brings you JOY and fills up your cup.

Much love to you xxxG

Gina Haines2 Comments