U R the Answer


In Nia dancing there is a routine called 'U' with a song in it that I love called 'U R the answer' from Michael Bernard Beckwith. Why does that matter? Well, I've adopted and adapted that song title as my blog theme for this week, and U really R the answer! Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world" and whilst hanging out with these 2 wise guys puts us in some pretty cool company... I want you to consider...

Have you ever given thought to changing things in your life? Did you make the change? or Do you think about it and then move on remaining the same? - No judgement here... I think we all want change to some degree or another, but I know that if we really want change, we can make it happen. So, here's what I've got and what I know about making change happen.

Change the way you relate to the world and watch the way the world responds to you.

I believe awareness is key and it all begins with you.

In my book You-phoria: The Art of Living Authentically, I talk about my personal trainer Trevor and his story of how he turned his life around after an epiphanic revelation. Trevor had a hard life and violence played a central part in it. If you want to read his full story you will have to get the book ;) … but, very briefly, and to illustrate my point here, he came to understand through his awareness, that in order for his life to change he needed to be the one to make the changes. So, he began an internal journey and became very aware of his triggers and ‘unpacked’ them. Now he combats any ‘out of control’ feelings and reactions by checking himself and repositioning his thoughts and actions to regain control of his emotions and subsequent behaviour.  

So here you go, if you want to make a change in your behaviour then I suggest you follow these steps:

  • Realise you have triggers (Awareness)

  • Recognise your triggers and get to know what they are (Knowledge) and when they happen so you can put a stop to them. Verbalising your triggers (internally or externally) helps you to separate yourself from the situation and also makes them less ‘personal’.

  • Reposition your thoughts and actions (Choice) Have a plan on what to do/say/think so you don’t have to think up something on the fly so you can

  • Regain your thoughts to create a new neural pathway to move along (Action)

    Following these steps allows you the opportunity to make change happen. How? Through interrupting your thoughts, shifting your feelings, and changing the resulting actions and behaviour (Acceptance and Love). These steps also happen (incidentally!!???!!!) to be my 5 steps to Authentic Self-being and Happiness! ;o)

U can make change happen, and when you do this for yourself you do it for others too. This is really empowering.

Yes, Gina… but what if I don’t know what triggers me, I just know I want to make some changes?

Well, I know that sometimes it’s hard to see what triggers us - we just know we got angry or disappointed or stressed upon reflection and it’s usually some time after the event has happened. Learning to separate ‘the story you tell yourself’ from the situation itself, can be complicated! That’s okay, searching for your own ‘smudges’, or whatever you want to call them, is often easiest revealed by noticing what annoys us in others’ behaviours and then turning the lens inwards to reveal when we do what they do that annoys us! Yes… Just like the mirror! This can be very challenging and confronting… and revealing if you really look with courage, vulnerability, honesty and an open-mind, and NO judgement!

I am not saying we are responsible for others’ words, actions and behaviours, which often trigger responses in us because of our perception of what they have perceivably done. This way of looking at the world supports the idea that what happens in the universe happens outside of us and to us, ie. we are powerless and the victims in our lives.

I am saying we are solely responsible for our words, actions and resulting behaviours. This way of looking at the world supports the idea that we are the universe and what happens in the universe is happening within us ie. we are powerful and the heroes in our lives.

Making change happen starts with U.

U really R the answer ;)

Sooo… Have you ever given thought to changing things in your life?

Did you make the change you intended? or

Did you think about it and then move on, remaining the same?

I LOVE hearing from you, so please leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts on how you make change happen. Have a great week xxG

Gina HainesComment