Keeping Off the Rocks
So I’m wondering what the difference is between being critical and judging versus analysing?
Sometimes I think it's a fine line as I’m not sure there is a difference to be honest, however, I do like to analyse situations and wonder at what point does this analysis become criticism or judgmental? Analysis sounds like a promising and positive attribute, whereas judgment and criticism sound like they should be avoided!
I ask this as I have become aware of myself making judgments about things that I would not normally notice several times this last week. Judging others and myself - which is usually a pretty good indicator that if I am doing it to others I will be doing it to myself!
I would teach and I guess preach (aarrgghh) to notice, accept, forgive and let it go. Yes but this can be so challenging! I hear you say… Especially in the moment, and yet, so rewarding to! Let me share some of my story from last week’s learning…
My number one VIA (Values in Action) see www.via.org strength is Perception so naturally I am constantly analysing everything. Perception is part of the virtue section classified as “Wisdom and Knowledge - Cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of knowledge.” VIA defines Perception as; “Perception [wisdom]: Being able to provide wise counsel to others; having ways of looking at the world that make sense to oneself and to other people.”
We all have the same strengths, so you too will have Perception as one of yours, however, it may or may not be your top strength, depending on your VIA classification after completing the survey. If you haven’t completed it I recommend you do - it’s free and really interesting!
Back to criticism and judgment and why I got to this wondering. I noticed and caught myself several times this last week having less than complimentary thoughts about the way others were doing some things. I noticed similar threads of thought in my own judgment of myself and things I was doing. There’s a fine line between judgment/criticism and analysis, and as someone who is constantly analysing everything, I have to remember to be mindful and keep a watchful eye on the line so I don’t cross it.
Now, I know that thoughts become things and I know to choose wisely, so when I notice I am drifting into a critical or judgmental frame of mind, I put the anchors on and haul myself back out into the deeper waters so as not to get caught up on the rocks (metaphorically). I also know that if I don’t, it is easy to get stranded for a while, and I prefer (HUGELY) to be on the open water than the rocks - so to speak.
So, here I find myself a bit grumpy, a bit ‘off’, and wondering why and what I am going to do to reverse what’s going on. Someone told me it’ll be because Mercury is in retrograde… and maybe it is, but I don’t know enough about astrological events to comment wisely - notice my number one strength of perception kicking in here ;) - so I won’t.
What I do know is that it doesn’t serve me well to criticise and judge. I don’t feel good operating from and in this place. I genuinely prefer to analyse and rationalize and do the things I say to do… notice, accept, forgive and let it go and live my best life as my best self.
I have been challenged. Within this challenge, I became aware and gained knowledge around what and why I was feeling the way I was, enough to know I have a choice and can take action and make a change. Accepting this leads me back to self-love and that is self-care in the order of the highest! Yay! Incidentally, or not so incidentally ;), these are my 5 steps to Authentic Self-being and Happiness! Remembering to use them as a daily practice is highly recommended ;)
My 5 steps to Authentic Self-being and Happiness are:
3. Choice - Action
So what is your call to action for this week going to be?
What do you do when you notice something about your behaviour that doesn’t ‘sit well with you? Do you deal to it or try to forget about it asap?
How about the next time you feel a bit ‘off’ or notice yourself not being your best self, you cast the lens back inside and see if you can identify the trigger that is being pulled. Then, why not try using my 5 steps to loosen its grip and let it go.
Trust me the feeling is GOOD when it moves on by!
I’d love to hear in the comments below either how you go applying the 5 steps to your life, or what methods you use to get yourself ‘away from the rocks’ so to speak.
Thanks for being here and have a great day!