‘The Giant Pink Elephant in the Room - A Special Valentine’s Day Request’
Today is Valentine’s day and it is tradition that every year, all around the world people celebrate their love for each other. They buy roses and chocolates, and take each other out on fancy dates and dinners, maybe they even write a love letter or two! And that’s all very beautiful and romantic, but what about the giant pink elephant in the room?
From the moment you beat the other 400 trillion contenders for fertilisation in your conception (yes I really did say trillion!), to this very moment right now, you have been in the most sacred and special relationship of all. No spectacular, ground breaking, Hollywood scale, Valentine’s day worthy love affair will EVER be able to compete with the magnificent love story that is the relationship between you and yourself. And you are the writer of this glorious love story! This is the giant pink elephant in the room - a love that whether you acknowledge it or not will be with you for every beautiful second of your life. Now this may sound silly, but I know that somewhere inside you can agree with what I’m saying.
So this year, perhaps you have a special Valentine, or many, or maybe you are flying solo... whatever the case may be, I would like to suggest that we all add a new tradition to Valentine’s Day (starting today) where we send a little of that Valentine’s cheer inwards and celebrate our love for ourselves.
After all... Self-love is the heart of the heart of the heart... and giant pink elephants need a whole lotta lovin.
To me, self-love is about abundance, empowerment, self-respect, self-value, freedom, connecting heart, head and spirit, and being authentic to who you are and to your place in the world. It is a place I call ‘You-phoria’! It is a place for honouring the self and allowing the self to be who you are, as you are. It is a place that feels right and true to you, honouring your highest self and caring that you live your best life now - loving that ‘selfness’. It is also the place from which you can fully love others. It is a happy place where joy is your priority. It is empowering, respectful, authentic and honours who you are now with love.
Self love is life’s elixir to help gain a life of fulfilment with purpose and meaning.
My focus and work in self-love is about coming ‘home’ to yourself. I believe finding your inner place of ‘home’ is a special journey, a head and a heart journey. A journey that takes time and energy, courage, resilience and persistence, a journey of trust, healing, kindness, accepting, understanding and love along the way. It’s a sacred journey. It is this place of ‘home’ within ourselves that I believe we seek and that my work aims to help you find. Let me explain further;
When we were born we were filled with only pure, unconditional love for ourselves and of the world around us. As we grow up, various pressures and external factors erode that love and obstruct self-love for many of us. Most of us go through life - trying to find ways to fit in from families to schooling to friends - learning to be a part of a cog in the wheel of life and rolling forward - often at the whim of what pops up in front of us.
Finding that love inside again for our self, dusting it off and polishing it up is what I am suggesting.
So how do I propose you do this? I will start with a wee analogy and then make a few suggestions...
If you are a parent (and if you are not, you could substitute parent for best friend/pet owner/partner...), I am sure you will agree that loving your 'children' is easy. I know it’s at times challenging, however, if you are like me then the bottom line is… “I may not always like what you do, but I’ll always love you.” Easy huh? With my children, I am loving, listening, compassionate, forgiving and available for their struggles and interactions with life pretty much whenever they need me. Now they are adults, this hasn’t changed. I make myself accessible. I appreciate, acknowledge and recognise their strengths, good habits and personal and professional interactions with the world they move in. I know I’m not responsible for their actions, and when they make decisions that are maybe not their best, I try to react appropriately with them in my response. If I get over-zealous (or bossy - and sometimes I know I do), then I make amends quickly. I love them unconditionally and wholeheartedly. They have me and I have them.
Learning to love yourself in a way similar to how I just described my love for my children, means accepting who you are as you are. With no conditions!
Can you think of ways you could apply the same love philosophy to your self?
One way I think of doing this is to imagine you are your child!
What would happen if you started treating yourself with love as you would treat your child (or best friend, or pet, or partner, or…)?
Or think of 5 ways you could sow seeds this week to treat yourself like your child, (best friend, pet or partner, or…), loving yourself unconditionally as you are right now? Find whatever connections work for you and give yourself the grace and love you would give any of them.
This kind of work is a bit like gardening… if you leave the weeds to grow they take over and before long you have a jungle in your yard. Getting rid of the weeds and planting beautiful plants changes the landscape of the garden and the enjoyment of the space. Think of your self in this way. Plant ‘crops’ you want and remove the ‘weeds’ so the plants you want have space to grow.
Another special way to honour your love for yourself might be to treat yourself like your Valentine. Maybe you could light a candle and listen to some romantic music while you make a list of some of your most special celebration worthy qualities. Draw a bubble bath and soak in your beautifulness. Take yourself on a ‘date’ leaving the house with no other reason than to give yourself a good time - whatever that might mean to you. Prepare a special meal for yourself with the same love and care you would if you were preparing it for a special guest. Write yourself a love letter. Dance, create, celebrate.
You really are one in seven and a half billion people on this planet (give or take) and your uniqueness is absolutely worth celebrating. Whether you take up my new tradition this Valentine’s Day or not, I hope you find a moment in your life to celebrate the giant pink elephant in the room and make yours a truly spectacular love story.
Thank you for being here and reading these blogs it means the world to me and my pink elephant. Happy Valentine’s Day.