Wholehearted Self-Love is the Answer

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Self-love is about empowerment, self-respect, self-value, freedom, abundance, connecting heart, head & spirit, and being authentic to who you are and to your place in the world.

Deciding to love your self is your choice. Knowing who you are and what you desire lets you know what to reach for, hold onto and grow. There are times when it seems easier to be on top of your game than others, and finding a clear path to self-love comes through caring for and nurturing yourself when you feel as though you can. That way when you need to call on your reserves, you have them there to call on! It also means you grow an understanding and awareness of what you do to cloud your self-love.

In my experience we often create obstacles that remind us of our perceived lack. We remind ourselves (with heaps of conditions) as to why we cannot wholeheartedly love our self - reasons where we illuminate our many imagined faults. We tell our self things like, not thin enough, too loud, not rich enough, not pretty enough or… Often we create obstacles to our own self-love and apply conditions, and we believe them! We reinforce them by saying things like… If I just lose x kilos, then I’d be more … or I’ve never been any good at… so I won’t try…. or I’m too much…  I’m not enough… he/she will never go for me…, or whatever inner comments of not loveable or not worthy are engaged.

Loving your self wholeheartedly means loving yourself with no conditions - it is unconditional love. It’s about loving yourself as you are right now. It is not dependent on limitations - it has no boundaries or expectations attached to it.

So today, I want you to imagine there are no faults, no inner voices telling you what’s wrong with you, no stories with long tales, no blame or shame. I want you to focus on what’s right with you. Take yourself on a journey of nurturing your self-love.

One way I think of doing this is to imagine you are your child.

I believe we all want to live a life we truly love living. I believe we all have this desire within us. When we were born we were filled with only pure, unconditional love. As we grow up - for many of us - society erodes that love and the pressures of life and living seem to obstruct self-love. Most of us go through life - trying to find ways to fit in, from families to schooling to friends - learning to be a part of a cog in the wheel of life, rolling forward and veering at the whim of what pops up in front of us. Finding that pure love inside again for our self, dusting it off and polishing it up, can be a big job, and often a lonely job.

This week, try treating yourself with love as you would treat your child (or best friend or pet or partner or…) Find whatever connections work for you and give yourself the grace and love you would give them. This kind of work is a bit like gardening… if you leave the weeds to grow they take over and before long you have a jungle in your yard. Getting rid of the weeds and planting beautiful plants changes the landscape of the garden and the enjoyment of the space. Think of your self-love in this way. Plant ‘crops’ you want, and remove the ‘weeds’ so the crops you want have space to grow. Cultivate qualities worth cultivating.

In the comments below, I’d love to read what your magic tips for self-love are. Are there any enhancers you can think of? What are the major loopholes for you?

Gina HainesComment